You might have noticed that my last blog was in late January, well it wasn’t a coincidence. It’s something I needed to do just to rekindle my thoughts and sort of handle some of the questions that usually come into play during the first part of the year.

You see friends, we all have some struggles, some small, some big and some very ambiguous. Struggling is part of life and what I have discovered during these times is that usually the pressure pressed upon you is not from external influences, it’s the one that’s within yourself.

I don’t know about you but I honestly think that the high expectations that we place on ourselves and not what other people say or think is what determines our struggles. Struggling in today’s society is almost a taboo subject to discuss, because it makes one look weak and nimble. We now live in an “instant coffee” and “popcorn” world, where the assumption is that you need to have figured out every answer and solution to all your struggles.

I believe that sometimes its ok to not have answers to some of the key questions you might have or even perhaps just take time to not rush into answering questions that everyone else seems to have figured out but you.

When you feel lost, insecure, ignorant, pissed off with life, irritated and sometimes desperate, take time off and handle the struggles within with patience, intellect, care and love of you, reflection, counsel from the wisdom of others and faith and prayer.

When I start feeling the struggles within me, I know for certain I am doing to two things:

1. Over complicating the situation(s) and therefore over thinking
2. Doing to many things at the same time, which means I don’t get to finish anything I started

Here’s what I think you should do if you are going through this:

1. KISS – Keep it simple standard, this is self explanatory
2. Say NO – Learn to say no to non essential activities, meetings, dinners etc
3. Focus 3 – take time to pick out 3 key things that you believe will change your life and those around you in the short to mid term and make a decision to focus on those 3 until the tasks are done

What I have learnt about struggle over the years is that struggle always guides me to joy and insight. Not during but after the struggle. I always don’t know when the joy will follow but I know it will come at the appropriate time at some point. This confidence and knowledge has helped me to experience peace in times of struggle and self doubt. It is possible for me to let go and be patient and grind out the process. I have learnt that I can give myself space for the answers to come to me rather than me trying to always manage and control the situation.

Always remember there is no change without sacrifice and there is no joy without struggle.